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A Look Into The Future
A clash of world-views occurs when both Ed and Rachelle schedule energy audits for the Begley home. While Ed is measuring the energy efficiency, Rachelle is having the psychic energy flow assessed. Ed is irked by Rachelle’s belief in the paranormal, and openly mocks it as “swami bag of salami,” while Rachelle thinks Ed’s home energy auditors are exploiting his insecurities about greenness. After a battle of wills over scheduling, they both go ahead with their audits.
Rachelle’s psychic consultant, Ray, uses crystals, feathers, and Tarot cards, while Tammy and Jim, Ed’s energy auditors, use modern infrared cameras and duct blasters, things that weren't around when Ed insulated his home in the 70's. After a room-by-room evaluation, both auditors bring bad news: Psychically, the Begley home is filled with disharmonious psychic vibrations, and energy-wise it’s not nearly as efficient as Ed had imagined. To Ed’s horror, the house leaks like a sieve, and requires a retrofit to make it energy efficient, while Rachelle gets an equally drastic prognosis: seek out possible new homes.
Both Ed and Rachelle are determined to make good on their audits and each have a hard time convincing the other of their merits. Rachelle decides to check out the home of their neighbor, actress Glenne Headley, because it’s for sale and ultra-green. Ed puts off his decision on the retrofit, and reluctantly agrees to tour the Headley house – just for fun. Glenne’s house is absolutely beautiful, and Ed finds many reasons to be jealous, while Rachelle discovers a host of ways to needle Ed: giant bathrooms, Roman tubs, walk-in closets, carved Mexican doors, and on and on. Ed explains that he loves Glenne Headley’s house, but he’ll end up doing summer stock theater until he’s a hundred to pay off a house like that.
In the end, Ed refuses to move and goes ahead with most of the retrofit. He explains that he wants to keep living in the place he's called home the last thirty years until he dies, and be composted in the backyard and buried under the vegetable garden. Further, Ed says they need to bring their home into the 21st century, and Tammy and Jim's company has the technology to do it. Rachelle saw that coming, and hands Ed an envelope containing a prediction that proves she’s psychic after all.
For a complete and detailed overview of Ed’s home energy audit, check out his new book Ed Begley Jr’s Guide to Sustainable Living.
For information on the home energy auditor, go to (www.reasenergy.com)